
Preheat the oven to 450. Toss the tofu, olive oil, soy sauce, and cornstarch together. Arrange on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 20-30 minutes, stirring halfway through.
Run the florets through the food processor, in batches, until they reach a rice-like consistency.
Heat your olive oil over medium heat. Add the garlic, ginger, peas, and carrots. When it’s really sizzling, add the cauliflower, soy sauce, and Sriracha. Saute for just a minute or two, until the cauliflower barely softens.
Make a well in the middle of the hot pan. Add sesame oil and eggs, and gently pull the eggs around in the center with a spatula to make scrambled eggs. Once cooked, stir the scrambled eggs in with the fried rice.
Serve it up, top with more Sriracha and green onions, and live your best life.